The Real Me

I grew up in a small town, Lehi, Utah. Nothing special about this little old town, but to me, to me this town means everything. My first steps were taken here. My first bath, my first love, my first cry, my first heart break, my first time seeing an alcohol bottle.. Many of you who have read some of my posts know that I have an alcoholic father, a mother who lies, a sister who is a bit bratty, and another sister who is crazy. Yeah my life might be hard at times but that's who I am. I am strong. I ca make it through anything life throws at me. I've made it this far haven't I? More than I can say for the 14 year old who killed himself recently. I think I'm doing pretty okay in the world. I have a good head on my shoulders and I know who I am and who I want to be. This is the real me. Dacota G. Brooks. The absolute truth is. Knowing everything about my life scares me, but I'm facing my fears head on. HOOAH!

Feelings

My feelings make me vulnerable. I used to be able to hide them. I'm still good at it but I'm so scared of being alone. I guess I have the fear of being single, but I don't need a boyfriend all the time. I just need someone to show me they care and be with me and hang out with me when I feel lonely. I really love being around people. It helps it so that I don't think of everything going on with my life. I really like being away from home but I'm always there. I'm scared of talking to people about my problems and having them tell me that I'm just overreacting. They don't know my life or how I deal with things so how do they know if I'm overreacting. I really love my friends. My best friend is Karli Steadman. She is kinda like me and hides her feelings until she explodes. We vent to each other all the time so that we don't explode randomly. She is awesome.

How to:(Bad language is used in this as well)

How to deal with divorce.

1. Get a dog
2. Ignore your parents when they try to talk about each other to you.
3. Stay out of the drama!
4. Don't slack off in school
5. Spend as much time away from home as you can..
6. Never question your parents about anything.
7. Tell both parents you love them.
8. Lock yourself in your room and cry
9. Always put on a smile when going to school(no one wants sympathy unless your an attention whore)
10. Watch tv and zone everything out.
11. Do what your parents say. No questions.
12. Do your best to get through this.
13. Surround yourself with friends and moral support.
14. Love everyone.

If your parents try and talk to you about the other person don't listen and tell them you don't wanna hear it. IT SUCKS BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS!

Divorcing: Warning, bad language is used in this post. You were advised.

Is it possible to divorce your family? Cuz if so I want to divorce them!! My parents are getting a divorce because my dad keeps cheating on my mom and drinking and my little sister is pissed off at everyone and my littlest sister is just staying in the background not talking. This shit sucks! If you have ever been through this it pretty much sucks balls! I just don't know what to do anymore and I miss the old days but their over.. Stress sucks! I can't even focus on my class work cuz my family life is so fucked!

History/FAMILY

Honestly I don't think about much these days. The only thing that gets me through my days is FFA. It has taought me some wonderful life experiences and I would be nothing without it. I can honestly say I would never be near where I am today if it wasn't for ffa. But why research it? There is alot to tell about FFA and there just isn't enough time to post it all. I honestly think that creative non-fiction should be about yourself. Something you don't have to research about. I mean if you forget something then it's good to research it so you aren't telling lies but I think it's best if you tell your story how you want. No research, just you telling the world about your life experiences.

So far in FFA I have learned about friendship, family,and agriculture. Family isn't just the people related to you. It is anyone and everyone you can count on to be there to catch you when you fall, come fix a flat in a far away desert, and give you the shirt off their back if you need. They don't have to be someone you see all the time but when you see that person you want to spend all the time in the world with them and they will sit there and talk about nothing with you all day. Someone who knows instantly when you are having a bad day. Someone who always knows what you need. I am so thankful or my family. They are the best people in the world and I really do love them all!