The Real Me

I grew up in a small town, Lehi, Utah. Nothing special about this little old town, but to me, to me this town means everything. My first steps were taken here. My first bath, my first love, my first cry, my first heart break, my first time seeing an alcohol bottle.. Many of you who have read some of my posts know that I have an alcoholic father, a mother who lies, a sister who is a bit bratty, and another sister who is crazy. Yeah my life might be hard at times but that's who I am. I am strong. I ca make it through anything life throws at me. I've made it this far haven't I? More than I can say for the 14 year old who killed himself recently. I think I'm doing pretty okay in the world. I have a good head on my shoulders and I know who I am and who I want to be. This is the real me. Dacota G. Brooks. The absolute truth is. Knowing everything about my life scares me, but I'm facing my fears head on. HOOAH!

Feelings

My feelings make me vulnerable. I used to be able to hide them. I'm still good at it but I'm so scared of being alone. I guess I have the fear of being single, but I don't need a boyfriend all the time. I just need someone to show me they care and be with me and hang out with me when I feel lonely. I really love being around people. It helps it so that I don't think of everything going on with my life. I really like being away from home but I'm always there. I'm scared of talking to people about my problems and having them tell me that I'm just overreacting. They don't know my life or how I deal with things so how do they know if I'm overreacting. I really love my friends. My best friend is Karli Steadman. She is kinda like me and hides her feelings until she explodes. We vent to each other all the time so that we don't explode randomly. She is awesome.

How to:(Bad language is used in this as well)

How to deal with divorce.

1. Get a dog
2. Ignore your parents when they try to talk about each other to you.
3. Stay out of the drama!
4. Don't slack off in school
5. Spend as much time away from home as you can..
6. Never question your parents about anything.
7. Tell both parents you love them.
8. Lock yourself in your room and cry
9. Always put on a smile when going to school(no one wants sympathy unless your an attention whore)
10. Watch tv and zone everything out.
11. Do what your parents say. No questions.
12. Do your best to get through this.
13. Surround yourself with friends and moral support.
14. Love everyone.

If your parents try and talk to you about the other person don't listen and tell them you don't wanna hear it. IT SUCKS BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS!

Divorcing: Warning, bad language is used in this post. You were advised.

Is it possible to divorce your family? Cuz if so I want to divorce them!! My parents are getting a divorce because my dad keeps cheating on my mom and drinking and my little sister is pissed off at everyone and my littlest sister is just staying in the background not talking. This shit sucks! If you have ever been through this it pretty much sucks balls! I just don't know what to do anymore and I miss the old days but their over.. Stress sucks! I can't even focus on my class work cuz my family life is so fucked!

History/FAMILY

Honestly I don't think about much these days. The only thing that gets me through my days is FFA. It has taought me some wonderful life experiences and I would be nothing without it. I can honestly say I would never be near where I am today if it wasn't for ffa. But why research it? There is alot to tell about FFA and there just isn't enough time to post it all. I honestly think that creative non-fiction should be about yourself. Something you don't have to research about. I mean if you forget something then it's good to research it so you aren't telling lies but I think it's best if you tell your story how you want. No research, just you telling the world about your life experiences.

So far in FFA I have learned about friendship, family,and agriculture. Family isn't just the people related to you. It is anyone and everyone you can count on to be there to catch you when you fall, come fix a flat in a far away desert, and give you the shirt off their back if you need. They don't have to be someone you see all the time but when you see that person you want to spend all the time in the world with them and they will sit there and talk about nothing with you all day. Someone who knows instantly when you are having a bad day. Someone who always knows what you need. I am so thankful or my family. They are the best people in the world and I really do love them all!

Getting Real!

Kay guys it's time to get real. There is a contagion going around. Running a muck! Destroying our pride and self-worth! It's time to stop this. It's been going on for far too long and I'm sick of seeing it. What's the contagion you ask? It's called the "I'll date anything with legs" Phenomenon. Girls come on! We are better than this! It's time to man up and say no to these boys, who we know will only hurt us in the end. 

How do I know? I grew up with an alcoholic father who only put me down. He couldn't walk in the kitchen with me eating and not make a fat joke about it. Cruel right? To this day he still makes fun of me. My favorite one I have heard so far is "Well you look like an orange pumpkin!" The story behind this is, he asked me about what he was wearing and I simply said "No this doesn't match." Pretty priceless, right? Well the list goes on and I don't have that much time! We girls are better than this. Same with the guys. If you know the girl that is hitting on you probably has an STD You shouldn't go there!! One day you meet the girl of your dreams and if you decide to go with this STD girl and catch something, the girl of your dreams is going to walk right out of your life. We all need to sit and think about what we want in the future and if this boy or girl isn't it, Don't give them the light of day! It's okay to be nice and respectful to those people, but don't date them. We all know how that goes. 

And for those certain people that you shouldn't date here is a tip: Try taking a shower every once in awhile. You'll feel better after. And maybe you should take my advice too. If you didn't go out with Chris P. Bacon and catch an awful STD then maybe the man/woman of your dreams would want you. 

In conclusion: DON'T BE A SLUT! 

Tata for now --

Little Peanut.<3

Second Post for This Week 4/8

So I tried to go balls out and get into a drawing 2 class.. I am really sucking! I'm good at drawing but I hate it. I am all caught up but we are doing this really big project now. We have to draw a collage and it's really hard. I really hate this. It's so hard. I really hate drawing people and we have to have two people in our drawing. I think I'm going to get a really bad grade for this. Oh well. Drawing isn't that important!

I am getting this tattoo on my wrist and it's going to say mommy on the bottom loop. It's gunna be great(: I love my mommy!

Embarrassment

I have only had one embarrassing moment in my life. It was back in the 4th grade. We went on a field trip to the copper mines and we were picking out rocks to take back to the school. There was this big rock pile that we were all on. Searching for the best rocks. All of a sudden I had to pee. There was no bathroom in site! I decided I could just go in the rock pile when no one is watching. I was running out of time. It was coming fast! I hurried and sat down. Sweet relief! But when I stood up I remembered I had forgotten to pull down my pants.. I felt so ashamed! I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to look for someone with a jacket that would let me tie it around my waist. The clouds parted and a beam shown down from the sky! I found someone! I rode in the bus all by myself for fear of someone smelling me! I rushed into the school into the front office and called my mom. My horrible day came to an end.

Post Number 2 for this week!

I am reading this book about the Holocaust that is called The Book Thief. I love this book so much! I can't stop reading it and every time I get to a good spot I have to stop for something! Its a pretty great book and I hope you will take the time and read it(: Here is a great quote! (this is not biased for religion.)

"Lord grant me the patience to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the different."
This is actually an alcoholics anonymous prayer. Religion has nothing to do with this(:

Jealousy

Jealousy is a monster. It can come out of nowhere. There is nothing you can do to stop it. It's like a river that just keeps filling up and there is nothing you can do to make it go down. You can put up sand bags and caution signs so no one comes near but you can't stop it completely. With jealousy you can avoid that person or just divert your mind from thinking about it but you can never let it go. It just eats  and eats at you until finally you realize that you are better/different in your own way. There is nothing you can change to make yourself better than someone else. 

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you." - Dr. Seuss

 This is my favorite quote of all time! Dr. Seuss was a genius!

Second Post: Short Story

    We were only 5 minutes late for class. As we were walking up to the building there was a
black car parked in the loading zone where the buses pick up and drop off. The windows were
tinted but rolled down halfway. There was a guy in the drivers seat and he was looking at us. We
kept walking, but turned just in time to see a cute, innocent girl sliding into the passengers seat.
The driver waved at us and gave a mischievous grin and drove away.
“Well that was creepy.” I turn and say to Macie.
“I didn’t notice.”
    We head to class without anymore words. Something must be going on at Macie’s house; she isn’t talking much today. Her dad is an alcoholic; he is very verbally abusive and always gets mad at her for stupid stuff. They are always fighting and after a big fight they don’t talk to each. She kinda shuts people out and makes them believe she is alright, but on the inside she is dying. I always know when something has happened though, I am her best friend after all. There has been a few times when she has come over, afraid to go back to her house. I feel bad but I don’t know what I can do. I just try to always be there for her when she needs me.

Stress

Stress is pretty much gross. It gets you all worked up and anxious! I have been stressing about my grades all this week. I really hate stressing over stuff. I have learned that stress is not the best thing for your body. Sometimes it can make you physically sick, other times it can make you mentally sick. When I'm stressed I start to get really angry at everyone. I don't mean to but it just happens. There is nothing you can do about it though. Stress never goes away and you have to learn how to live with your stress. It's pretty much the only thing you can do.